Miley, what's wrong?
-Did you get a D in Algebra? -No.
A D in Science?
You saw your yearbook picture?
No, l'm listening...
What's wrong with my yearbook picture?
Nothing. lt's a sweet smile. lt says, ''l'm friendly, and l like spinach.''
This is what l get for eating healthy.
So what are you listening to?
-Only the most romantic e-book ever. -Love Beyond Love: A Story Of Love?
Did you get to the part at the flea market
where Chloe and Jacques both reach for that romantic book of poetry?
''Their hands just touched, their eyes just met,
-''and the air was filled... -''And the air was filled...
-''...with a thousand violins.'' -''...with a thousand violins.''
Yeah, l saw your yearbook picture, too, Stewart.
So sad. That beautiful piece of spinach surrounded by all that ugly.
Yeah, well, l saw your yearbook picture, too, Joannie.
Looks just like you. Sorry.
You really want to go there with me, Truscott?
Any day, Palumbo.
Except Wednesdays. You've got piano.
Except Wednesdays, but any other day.
l'm scared, Truscott. Or should l say, Wimp-cott!
l hate her so much l name my boogers after her.
You know, we should feel sorry for her. A girl like that will never find love
like Chloe did with Jacques.
Sorry. Here.
This is your poetry book.
-No! -No!
come on!
You get the limo out front
Hottest styles, every shoe every colour
Yeah, when you're famous it can be kind of fun
lt's really you but no one ever discovers
Who would have thought that a girl like me
Would double as a superstar?
You get the best of both worlds
chill it out, take it slow
Then you rock out the show
You get the best of both worlds
Mix it all together
And you know that it's the best of both worlds
-Well, sorry. -l'm sorrier.
l'm sorriest.
This whole thing is sorry.
-All right. Well, bye. -Bye.
-Hi.
Hi.
-Snap out of it! -Snap out of it!
What?
She's evil.
Yeah, and she's been that way since the second grade.
l loved that kite.
l love my kite. l love my kite. l love...
My kite!
l love my balloon. l love my balloon. l...
My balloon!
No way you are dating that kite-cutting,
balloon-popping wart on a big monkey butt!
Yeah, she's...
You know when you go to big monkey butt l can't top that.
Anyway, you never liked Joannie before. Why now?
Well, l never really looked into her eyes before.
Those deep green...
vats of mouldy, toxic fungus! Those eyes?
Please promise us you won't ask her out. Please, quick!
Okay, all right. Fine. l won't ask her out.
Good call.
l picked up yours by mistake.
-Do you want to go out? -l'd love to.
-l need to use the bathroom. -No problem, kid. That'll be one dollar.
But l don't have a dollar.
You should've thought of that before you had that extra-large drink.
But you talked me into buying it.
Did l?
Hi, so what's good here?
You're looking at it.
And if you act right now, l'll throw in a romantic evening
and an order of macho nachos.
Wow. Well, talk about your value meal.
-l'm sorry. Did that actually work? -No,
but l've been watching you for a while and l think you're cute.
So when do l get that evening of romance?
Let me check my schedule.
February, March, July... How about tonight?
What?
Hey, Jackson. l see you've met my cousin.
Your cousin? She's your cousin.
You are so funny. l can't wait to see you tonight.
-Oh, boy. -l know.
Cute, huh? Except for that weird laugh. Annoying.
Little bit.
Okay, this is crazy. lt's almost noon,
and we haven't heard anything from Oliver about the date.
Come on, Lilly. We've just got to think positive.
l mean, the date probably went awful, and he ran away in screaming terror.
Or it went great, and he's strolling towards us, happily in love.
Hey, guys.
Come on, Big-O. Let's go some place with a nicer view.
Yeah, you better get her off the beach, ''Big-O.''
Didn't you read the signs? No dogs allowed.
-You want to go, Truscott? -Bring it on, kite-cutter.
Hey, hey.
-Okay. -Okay.
Listen, love-doodle, you promised you'd be nice.
-''Love-doodle''? -''Love-doodle''?
Let me take care of this.
Go over to the boardwalk, and get yourself a ceramic dolphin.
-My treat. -Thanks, Big-O.
Okay, guys, you know what? l really like her.
Can't you at least try to be nice to her? For me?
Oliver, when you put it that way... No.
-Some friends you are. -Oliver, stop.
Can't you just give it a shot? lnvite her to a sleepover or something.
Like we'd ever have a sleepover with Joannie.
Fine, we'll invite her.
Girl-who-always-says-say-what say what?
l can't believe you dragged me into this.
Just remember that it's for Oliver.
Fine. Look, l set up her sleeping bag. Are you happy?
A rubber snake?
-Come on, Lilly. You're better than that. -Yeah, l know. lt's real.
Get that thing out of here!
Look, l'll get rid of this snake if you get rid of that one.
Lilly.
Fine. Come on, Wiggly. You don't want to meet her anyway.
-And here we are. -Hey, guys.
Remember, my friends are your friends.
-Whatever you say, honey. -Okay.
-Well, all right, bye. -All right, bye.
-Bye. -Bye-bye.
Bye.
Let's get this over with.
Good to see you, too, Joannie.
-Lilly, say hi to Joannie. -Whatever.
So, this is just gonna be so much fun. What do you girls want to do tonight?
-Puke. -Leave.
Well, it can only go up from here.
l can't believe this.
Yeah, and l can't believe that you and Rico are from the same...
-Family? -l was gonna say species.
Okay, l'm really not that funny.
-l mean it. Stop. -Okay.
Hey-oh!
ls something wrong?
No, it's just sand in my eye.
Evil little grains of sand.
Now where were we?
l've been waiting for this moment all night.
Sorry, l have to poop.
And now, Milda, it's your turn to travel with the pants.
Eat plasma, alien scum.
-Will you keep it down, Palumbo? -You keep it down, Truscott.
Make me.
You know, l was thinking we could do something
a little more slumber-partyish.
How about a good old-fashioned pillow fight?
-Actually, l was thinking... -Sounds good to me!
Or we could play a board game.
Or do our nails, or talk about Oliver. Oliver.
How we love that he... He...
He is bringing us together.
Just pick something.
Now, Lillian, l am sure there is a nicer way you could say that.
You're right. Joannie, will you please just pick something?
Fine!
Life's what you make it
How does she have a career? She's terrible.
Okay, it's official. l hate her, too.
Now, Milian, l am sure there's a nicer way you can say that.
Look at that. Her big fat lips don't even match that squeaky little voice.
That's it.
Yes, Oliver.
-How's it going? -Great.
Then why aren't you sitting with her?
How do you know that?
-Go home. -Okay.
l love you guys for trying. You're the best. Bye.
What do we do now? We can't be friends with her.
We're doing this for Oliver. The least we can do is fake it.
Fine.
Enough of this garbage.
Hockey, yes.
-l love hockey. -You do?
-Yeah, who doesn't like hockey? -Yeah, Miley likey hockey.
-Hey, is that Mario L'Chambeaux? -Yeah. He's making another comeback.
lf the guy gets any older, they're gonna have to put blades on his walker.
No kidding. Check it. Looks like he had more face-lifts than face-offs.
Yeah, l bet he's so old, he, like, can't even shoot a touchdown.
No, Joannie. We're 1 0,000 feet up. Stop pushing!
What? Stop... Where's my parachute?
Joannie!
-That was horrible. -Don't worry, it was just a bad dream.
l was talking about last night.
ln my dream, l went ''splat,'' but at least l got away from Joannie.
So, where is the Wicked Witch of the West Coast?
She's in the bathroom.
Stealing soap, no doubt.
So, good job with the hockey thing last night.
-Way to fake it. -Yeah, about that.
Somewhere between the hockey game and the spitting contest,
it stopped being fake.
Girl-who-says-l-say-what say what?
Well, first she wanted to put your bra in the freezer,
but l said, ''No, let's go out on the deck and have a spitting contest instead.''
Going to work.
By the way, it's a little slippery out there.
What do you mean you stopped faking?
-What up, T-Cott? -Yo, yo, P-Bo.
Yo, yo... How long was l asleep?
-Hey, what was that thud? -Jackson took a dip in Lake Loogie.
-Sweet. -l know.
You seem to have forgotten something. We hate her.
We did, but now, not so much.
Hey, how'd it go?
'Cause l don't know 'cause l wasn't here.
We actually had fun,
and Lilly's gonna play in the pick-up hockey game today.
-She is? -You are?
-Didn't l tell you that? -See you at the rink, T-Cott.
Sock it, lock it, put it in your pocket.
This is so cool.
Well, look at that.
A room full of B-F-F-F-F-Fs.
l hadn't seen that many ''F''s since Jackson's last report card.
Dang, l'm funny.
Well, thanks T-Cott, l had a great time. And, Miley, l...
Well, bye.
l'll see you at the game.
You know, you can come to the game, too, if you want.
How could you do this to me?
Miley, if you'd just give Joannie a chance, you'll...
Give her a chance? She'd push me out of a plane.
-You were dreaming. -She would've done it.
Well, can we talk about this later?
l promised Joannie l'd warm up with her before the game.
Bye.
Did you see that, Daddy? They're all friends.
Well, that's just wrong.
Kids being friends, doing stuff together?
There ought to be a law against it. A law, l tell you!
l'm serious. They're already doing stuff without me after a couple of days.
Where's it gonna end?
-Out of the way! -Out of the way!
Get out of the way!
-Out of the way! -Guys, wait for me!
Hey, y'all. Do you guys want to hang out today?
-No way, Milly. -We got a hockey game today.
l can't believe you were friends with that loser.
My name's Miley.
Come on, Mile.
Lilly and Oliver's never gonna forget about you.
You're right! They won't 'cause l'm not gonna let them.
lf they want to play hockey, l can hock it up with the best of them.
Hey.
-Jackson. You feeling better? -Yeah. Yeah, l'm fine.
Look, about last night. lt wasn't really my stomach.
The truth is, l've got this thing with Rico and l just need...
One sec.
What? No, Miley, l don't have a hockey stick.
l don't know. Try a sporting goods store or Canada.
Hey, thanks for waxing my board. l'll finish up.
-Your board's in the back. -Cool.
l don't care. l'm busy. Bye-bye.
-Man, it's getting worse. -What's getting worse?
Just don't talk.
Please, l need to get over this, and there's only one way to do that.
Jackson, what are you...
What l should've done last night.
l really like you, and this is gonna fix everything.
-Jackson, what are you doing? -l was going to ask the same question!
This is not what it looks like.
He said you were weird.
lf this is your way of trying to kiss up to the boss,
it's not working.
-Hey, Big-O. -Hey, Jo-Jo.
You know, you looked great out there.
Nice outfit, Stewart. Playing hockey or baking a cake?
Good one, P-Bo.
-Who's the dork? -lt's Miley. Miley.
Miley!
You're here. That's great. You look great.
And l feel great, T-Cott.
Get ready to sock it, lock it and rock it, because this girl knows how to hock it.
l got it in my mask.
Miley, l'm really glad you're here, but are you sure you wanna do this?
Yeah. l mean, if you and Oliver are gonna hang out with Joannie,
so am l.
But you stink at sports.
Come on. Stop worrying. Everything's going to be totally
fine.
Missed me, sucker.
Nothing gets past the wall. Nothing gets past the wall.
Hey, l caught it.
Daddy.
l heard a ding. Are my brownies ready?
Look, Miley. Here comes Oliver with more ice.
You remember Oliver.
Are you feeling any better, Miley?
No.
l'm beat up, l smell like a giant sweat sock,
and ''P-Bo'' is stealing my best friends.
What? What are you talking about? She's not stealing anybody.
But you're right about that sweat sock. lt's a little stanky.
Miley, do you really think just because l kind of like Joannie now,
it means l'm not gonna be your best friend any more?
Well, yeah, maybe a little.
l mean, l thought l was losing you guys. l wasn't thinking... l'm injured. Be nice!
Miley, you're always gonna be my best girl-bud.
-Hey! -One of my two best girl-buds.
But l don't like your girlfriend.
That's cool. She doesn't like you, either.
But you tried, and that means a lot.
So, you don't care that l think that she's a wart on a big monkey butt?
-ls that okay if l use that now? -All yours.
Look, l'm dating someone you don't like.
Odds are that we're gonna date people the other two can't stand.
Yeah. You remember Josh?
And Trey.
-And Jake. -Oh, my gosh.
Guys, you made your point.
Look, the important thing is, we just have to trust
that this is strong enough to handle anything.
You know, l could learn to like hockey.
Hi, what's good here?
You're looking at it.
And if you act right now, l'll throw in an evening of romance
and an order of macho nachos.
-You're cute. -One sec.
l can't believe that worked again.
Hey, Jackson, l see you've met my sister.
Hey, hot stuff. Wanna go dancing?
Go away!
Excuse me?
Miss me, miss me, bet you want to kiss me.
l would never kiss you!
Fine. Kiss this, jerk.
You are ruining my life!
You say the sweetest things.